Pithy Comments

The alternative to growing old is depressing.

The idea is to die young, as late as possible.

Evil is live spelled backwards. (“I don’t know why that has any relevance to anything.” eGrumps)

If you have to travel on a Titanic, why not go first class.

One of eGrumps laws about computers: “If a computer cable has one end, it should have another.”

If two wrongs don’t make a right, try three.

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

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“eGrumps,  You have a dilemma. The more you publish my “Obscure Laws,” the less obscure they become. You are doing me a great disservice by creating this problem.” (Murphy)

“Huh? Murph, don’t bother me with details. It’s all your fault by creating Obscure Laws. If you didn’t create them in the first place, I couldn’t publish them and remove their obscurity.” (eGrumps)

“Huh? eGrumps, if I didn’t want to make them obscure, I wouldn’t have published them.” (Murphy)

“Murph. I want to introduce you to Mrs. eGrumps. She thinks I am a a first class idiot, but maybe that’s because she hasn’t met you.” (eGrumps)

“Anyhow, grumps, here are few more obscure laws from which you can remove the veil of obscurity.” (Murphy)

1. Evil is live spelled backwards.

2. Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed. (Otherwise known as “If So,  How Come it All Landed on Me Law.”

3. If it feels good, don’t do it.

4. No man with four aces ever howls for a new deal.

5. The chief causes of problems are solutions.

6. You can conquer gravity, but sometimes the paperwork is overwhelming.

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Scroll on down for other formerly obscure laws.

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“eGrumps is a genius” (Murphy)
“eGrumps is an egotistical idiot.” (Mrs. eGrumps)
“I always though Murphy was a brilliant judge of character.” (eGrumps)

The object is to die young as late as possible.

In an underdeveloped country, don”t drink the water. In a developed country, don’t breathe the air.

Nothing is ever done for the right reason.

Everything breaks down.

All things being equal, all things are never equal.

eGrumps First Law of Drinking – “You can’t fall off the floor.”

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Scroll on down for more obscure laws.

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Nothing is ever accomplished by a reasonable man (or woman).

It is morally wrong to allow suckers to keep their money.

eGrumps slogan, originally from some Murphy imitator (like me): Beware of and eschew pompous prolixity.

When you’re up to your nose, keep your mouth shut.

If you are feeling good, don’t worry. You’ll get over it.

The volume of paper expands to fill the available briefcases.

A Smith & Wesson beats four aces.

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eGrumps Law (to Hell with Murphy’s Obscure Laws!): Happy Fourth of July!

All right, here a few more of Murphy’s Obscure Laws:

1. Negative expectations yield negative results. Positive expectations yield negative results.

2. Every man (and woman) has a scheme that will not work.

3. When in doubt, mumble.

4. For every credibility gap, there is a gullibility fill.

5. The sum of the intelligence on the planet is a constant: the population is growing.

eGrumps favorite:

6. If you’ve got them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow.

(For Parts One and Two of Murphy’s Obscure Laws – scroll down. As a matter of fact, scroll down even further for lots of Pithy Comments)

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More of the laws inspired by Mr. Murphy:

1. In the fight between you and the world, back the world.

2. If you want to kill any idea in the world, get a committee working on it.

3. A disagreeable law is its own reward.

4. Everybody lies about sex.

5. Yield to temptation, it may not pass your way again. (“I like that” (eGrumps))

6. There is a solution to every problem. The only difficulty is finding it.

7. If two wrongs don’t make a right, try three.

8. Even paranoids have enemies.

and

To have a sense of humor is to be a tragic figure. (“Alas, how true” (eGrumps))

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Murphy was brilliant – after one simple law his commentaries have grown and grown, and of course Murphy, being completely fictional, had nothing to do with it.

1. Smile – tomorrow will be worse.

2. Enough research will tend to support your theory.

3. Matter will be damaged in direct proportion to its value

4. Left to themselves, things will go from bad to worse.

5. If everything is going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

6. In case of doubt, sound convincing.

7. You never run out of things that can go wrong.

8. The first myth of management is that it exists.

and

Murphy was an optimist

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