She who is silent consents.

Never underestimate the power of stupidity.

The course of progress: Most things get steadily worse.

One cannot make an omelet without breaking a few eggs. But, it is amazing how many eggs can be broken without making an omelet.

Men and nations will react rationally when all other possibilities are exhausted.

If things were left to chance, they’d be better.

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Love your neighbor, but don’t get caught.

Money can’t buy love, but it can get you in a great bargaining position.

You never run out of things that can go wrong.

Every man (woman) has a scheme that will not work.

If the facts do not conform to the theory, they must be disposed of.

Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.

All great discoveries are made by mistake.

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Bug? That’s not a bug, it’s a feature.

Any program that runs right is obsolete.

Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.

Home is where the computer is plugged in (or has access to  Wi-Fi).

You had mail, but the computer deleted it as being boring.

Warning Keyboard not found. Press Enter to continue.

To be or not to be, those are the parameters.

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“Huh? Murph, don’t bother me with details. It’s all your fault by creating Obscure Laws. If you didn’t create them in the first place, I couldn’t publish them and remove their obscurity.” (eGrumps)

“Huh? eGrumps, if I didn’t want to make them obscure, I wouldn’t have published them.” (Murphy)

“Murph. I want to introduce you to Mrs. eGrumps. She thinks I am a a first class idiot, but maybe that’s because she hasn’t met you.” (eGrumps)

“Anyhow, grumps, here are few more obscure laws from which you can remove the veil of obscurity.” (Murphy)

1. Evil is live spelled backwards.

2. Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed. (Otherwise known as “If So,  How Come it All Landed on Me Law.”

3. If it feels good, don’t do it.

4. No man with four aces ever howls for a new deal.

5. The chief causes of problems are solutions.

6. You can conquer gravity, but sometimes the paperwork is overwhelming.

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Scroll on down for other formerly obscure laws.

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The object is to die young as late as possible.

In an underdeveloped country, don”t drink the water. In a developed country, don’t breathe the air.

Nothing is ever done for the right reason.

Everything breaks down.

All things being equal, all things are never equal.

eGrumps First Law of Drinking – “You can’t fall off the floor.”

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Scroll on down for more obscure laws.

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It is morally wrong to allow suckers to keep their money.

eGrumps slogan, originally from some Murphy imitator (like me): Beware of and eschew pompous prolixity.

When you’re up to your nose, keep your mouth shut.

If you are feeling good, don’t worry. You’ll get over it.

The volume of paper expands to fill the available briefcases.

A Smith & Wesson beats four aces.

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All right, here a few more of Murphy’s Obscure Laws:

1. Negative expectations yield negative results. Positive expectations yield negative results.

2. Every man (and woman) has a scheme that will not work.

3. When in doubt, mumble.

4. For every credibility gap, there is a gullibility fill.

5. The sum of the intelligence on the planet is a constant: the population is growing.

eGrumps favorite:

6. If you’ve got them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow.

(For Parts One and Two of Murphy’s Obscure Laws – scroll down. As a matter of fact, scroll down even further for lots of Pithy Comments)

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A man who can smile when things go wrong has thought of someone he can blame it on.

In specifications, Murphy’s Law supersedes Ohm’s.

Never say “oop’s” in the Operating Room. (This was actually Dr. Murphy’s Law).

Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.

When the going gets tough, everybody leaves.

If the facts do not conform to the theory, they must be disposed of. (Murphy was never very good at grammar – The sentence ends in a proposition, oop’s, that should be “preposition.” That shows you where my mind is.)

HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY!

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A drunken man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts.

Every man has a scheme that will not work (except for eGrumps).

Never insult an alligator until you have crossed the river.

eGrumps law of fighting – When your opponent is down, kick him.

In the fight between you and the world, back the world.

eGrumps law of love: She  who is silent consents.

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Kafka’s Law: In the fight between you and the world, back the world

Dentist’s Law: Toothaches always start on a Saturday night.

Surgeon’s Law: Never say “OOPs” in the Operating Room.

Losing Gambler’s Law: Certainly the game is rigged against me. I don’t let that stop me. If I don’t bet, I can’t win.

Cat Owner’s Law: Never try to outstubborn a cat.

eGrump’s Second Law: Yield to temptation, it may not pass your way again. (This is really important)

General Law of Humanity: The alternative to getting old is depressing.

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