Census: In case you missed my prior posts (hard to believe, right) today is either March 30 or March 31, depending on when you read this, and which side of the International Dateline you are on and Thursday is probably April 1, April Fools Day. You can finally mail in your census form with accurate information . The fact that it is April Fools Day has nothing to do with your legal obligation to answer all questions truthfully. Personally, I intend to tell the truth about the 371 people living in my house.
Wives:
My wife just had plastic surgery. I took away her credit cards.
My wife’s meals are something to behold. Not eat, just behold.
My wife is the sweetest, most tolerant,most beautiful person in the whole world. This is a paid political announcement.
I miss my wife’s cooking — as often as I can.
I wouldn’t say my wife is a poor housekeeper. She doesn’t turn on the stove. She just lights the grease.
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Census – Important – 60 Minutes –Jokes, Humor & Pithy Comments (from eGrumps) — April 2, 2010.
Friday, April 2nd, 2010For weeks I have been bombarded with letters, cards and advertisements telling me to be sure to fill out my census form and mail it in. I couldn’t do that because it asked for information as of April 1, and I had no way of predicting the future – what are the facts as of April 1, 2010. Now, it is past that date, and I have received no new communications advising me to send the form in. That’s good, because I now have a problem – I can’t remember who lived in my house yesterday and even if I could, I don’t remember where I put the census form.
Advice to the government – In 2020, assuming the planet is still here, why not remind your citizens to put the census form where you will not lose it. That would be better advice then telling us to guess at the future.
Then – on April 1, 2020 – send everyone, through iPhones, Blackberrys, Computers, iPads, TVs and whatever other Internet connecting machines then exists a polite reminder to send in the friggin’ form. Can’t be done? – sure it can – twice a year, through some means I don’t understand all computers adjust for Daylight Savings Time – coming and going. So why can’t “it” send everyone a non-blockable pop-up on April 1, every hour on the hour, to send in the Census form. I know it would be annoying, but it is a small price to pay for having an accurate census. Which, in the grand scheme of things is the most important, not annoying all of America’s citizens or having a complete census.
For all I know, such a plan could be in the Health Care Bill, everything else seems to be.
I think there is already a provision in the law that provides that every person who doesn’t send in the Census Form will be fined – big time – it’s a felony. The IRS is mandated to enforce the return of the census forms, and, if you don’t send them in, your income tax return will be audited. The Law contains about 2050+/- pages, so I haven’t been able to find that provision – yet – but trust me, it’s there. Would I lie to you?
I think the full story will be on 60 minutes in a few weeks. It would be on next week, but no one, escept for one junior mail clerk, has mailed in his census form. I think they all forgot where they put them.
Washington – are you listening?
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Tags: 60 Minutes, Census, Humor, Obamacare, Pithy Comment, Politics, Wit
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