Warning: Missing argument 2 for wp_widget() in /home/content/s/h/a/shalper05/html/pithycomment/wp-includes/widgets.php on line 76

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /home/content/s/h/a/shalper05/html/pithycomment/wp-includes/widgets.php:76) in /home/content/s/h/a/shalper05/html/pithycomment/wp-includes/feed-rss2.php on line 8
Pithy Comments http://pithycomment.com A Subprime Website Sun, 13 May 2012 23:58:42 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.1.3 Murphy (ver. 8) Alive and Well (or maybe dead and not-so-well) Obscure Comments Made by and to the Master http://pithycomment.com/2012/05/13/murphy-ver-8-alive-and-well-or-maybe-dead-and-not-so-well-obscure-comments-made-by-and-to-the-master/ http://pithycomment.com/2012/05/13/murphy-ver-8-alive-and-well-or-maybe-dead-and-not-so-well-obscure-comments-made-by-and-to-the-master/#comments Sun, 13 May 2012 23:58:42 +0000 admin http://pithycomment.com/?p=1662 It’s time to take a serious look at what Murphy, and his disciples, have brought forth. The future may be bleak, but old Murphy is a hot-bed of optimism.

1. In any household, junk accumulates to fill the space available for storage. (If you run out of storage space, there are two alternatives – throw out the junk or move  – Mrs eGrumps and I are having a discussion about that right now. She’s for moving in the foolish hope that I will throw out the junk that I have worked so hard to accumulate. There is of course a third alternative – throw out Mrs. eGrumps and use the space she is wasting to accumulate more vital junk.)

2. Speak softly and own a big mean doberman. (pit bulls will also work)

3. If you think the problem is bad now, wait until I solve it.

4. Nothing is so simple that it cannot be misunderstood.

5. Nothing is ever accomplished by a reaonable man.

6. A little humility is arrogance.

7. HISTORY PROVES NOTHING.

8. It is better to be rich and healthy than poor and sick.

________________________________________________________________

]]>
http://pithycomment.com/2012/05/13/murphy-ver-8-alive-and-well-or-maybe-dead-and-not-so-well-obscure-comments-made-by-and-to-the-master/feed/ 0
Murphy (Part 7 +/-) — Alive and Well. Obscure Comments that Will outlast Old Murph. http://pithycomment.com/2012/04/28/murphy-part-7-alive-and-well-obscure-comments-that-will-outlast-old-murph/ http://pithycomment.com/2012/04/28/murphy-part-7-alive-and-well-obscure-comments-that-will-outlast-old-murph/#comments Sat, 28 Apr 2012 19:54:28 +0000 admin http://pithycomment.com/?p=1658 Welcome back, friends – It’s time to relive the glory days of last week, when I sent out other Murphyisms. I’m told nothing lives forever, but I don’t think, no, I know, that doesn’t apply to Murphy’s comments. Comedians may come and go, but Murphy lives forever.

If you’ve missed some earlier postings scroll down and treat yourself to a whole bunch of beautiful sayings. No matter what the self-help books say, what is time for if you can’t waste it.

1. (An old favorite) – Candy is dandy, but sex doesn’t rot the teeth. (Actually, Murphy didn’t write that. Mrs. eGrumps thinks I did it, and I don’t want to disillusion her. It is rumored that the author was stabbed to death by his candy-loving girlfriend,  and buried in an unmarked grave. He remains anonymous. His girlfriend was never caught.)

2. Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.

3. It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.

4. If we have nothing to lose by change, relax.
If we everything to lose by change, relax.

5. Technology is dominated by those who manage what they do not understand.

6. If an experiment works, something has gone wrong.

7. All’s well that ends.

____________________________________________________

]]>
http://pithycomment.com/2012/04/28/murphy-part-7-alive-and-well-obscure-comments-that-will-outlast-old-murph/feed/ 0
Murphy’s Laws (No. 7) – He’s Alive and Well and Making The World a Better Place http://pithycomment.com/2012/04/20/murphys-laws-no-7-hes-alive-and-well-and-making-the-world-a-better-place/ http://pithycomment.com/2012/04/20/murphys-laws-no-7-hes-alive-and-well-and-making-the-world-a-better-place/#comments Sat, 21 Apr 2012 04:21:43 +0000 admin http://pithycomment.com/?p=1656 Murphy returns – bring  joy, happiness and good will to the citizens of the world, most of who have been in a severe state of depression caused by being alive in this world. Remember one of Murphy’s really obscure laws: “In a fight between you and the world, back the world.”

First – not from Murphy. but from me, eGrumps. I am distressed by the  conduct of  the American Secret Service agents, or at least some of them. Most of you don’t realize it, but I almost joined their previously elite ranks. I told the person doing the interview (man or woman is classified information but it was one of them) that I was interested in joining and going on foreign trips scouting for the President so I could hook up with a few hookers before he arrived and make sure that there were no plots afoot that would compromise his safety. I was turned down -”Son, we don’t do that sort of thing”  I was told.  They lied – it’s that simple – and I missed out on all those government paid fun things in foreign countries.

They went on to say “We don’t do any undercover work. Check the manual, you idiot.”  As Murphy said: “Following the rules will not get the job done,”but I guess they never heard of that.  So I went on to bigger, but not necessarily better, work. No undercover work? The hell you say. They lied!!!  I may sue.

______________________________________________________

Back to Murphy, my hero, who penned a few laws that are relevant to the Secret Service situation:

1. “Necessity is the mother of strange bedfellows.

2. “Teamwork is essential. It is always necessary to blame someone else.”

3. “Nothing is so simple it cannot be misunderstood.”

4. “I’d rather go whoring than warring.”

5. “Never go to bed with anyone crazier than you.”

6. “Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.”

There are more, but this is a family website.

Scroll on down for more great sayings by Murphy.

______________________________________________________

]]>
http://pithycomment.com/2012/04/20/murphys-laws-no-7-hes-alive-and-well-and-making-the-world-a-better-place/feed/ 0
Murphy’s Laws (No. 6) — One-Liners – He’s Alive and Well and Making the World a Better Place http://pithycomment.com/2012/04/15/murphys-laws-no-6-one-liners-hes-alive-and-well-and-making-the-world-a-better-place/ http://pithycomment.com/2012/04/15/murphys-laws-no-6-one-liners-hes-alive-and-well-and-making-the-world-a-better-place/#comments Sun, 15 Apr 2012 20:17:08 +0000 admin http://pithycomment.com/?p=1651 Another day, another series of one line classics that further the future of humanity. No matter what country you live in, these sayings will enhance your intellectual growth and contribute to your well-being.

My name is eGrumps and I have made it my too brief time on earth to  ease your journey through the mistake of having serious sobriety problems. So – drink up, read on, and think about how lucky you truly are – well, you probably were truly  lucky until you stumbled upon reading my stolen sayings.

1. If you think the problem is bad now, wait until we’ve solved it.

2. Never forget that the other line moves faster, until you switch lines, at which time your original line moves faster.

3. The first rule of intelligent thinking is to save all the parts.

4. My  rules of expectations: 1) Negative expectations need yield negative results. 2) Positive expectations yield negative results.

5. In a bureaucracy, accomplishment is inversely proportional to the volume of paper.

6. You cannot have a baby in one month by getting nine women pregnant.

If you remember nothing else from your studying of these maxims, remember – when all else fails, read the instructions.

____________________________________________________

 

]]>
http://pithycomment.com/2012/04/15/murphys-laws-no-6-one-liners-hes-alive-and-well-and-making-the-world-a-better-place/feed/ 0
Murphy’s Laws (Part 5) – He’s Alive and Well – Obscure Comments Made By And To The Master. http://pithycomment.com/2012/04/03/murphys-laws-part-5-hes-alive-and-well-obscure-comments-made-by-and-to-the-master/ http://pithycomment.com/2012/04/03/murphys-laws-part-5-hes-alive-and-well-obscure-comments-made-by-and-to-the-master/#comments Wed, 04 Apr 2012 03:48:48 +0000 admin http://pithycomment.com/?p=1646 The Obscure Laws just seem to keep coming and coming. Maybe the transmission device is being powered by the Energizer Bunny. If so, it is one sick bunny. (compiled by eGrumps – under-powered, but loved, respected and delusional)

All things are possible except skiing through a revolving door.

Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.

If it seems to good to be true, it probably is.

Don’t force it, get a larger hammer.

The more ridiculous a belief system, the higher the probability of its success.

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

Food that tastes the best always has the highest number of calories.

What men learn from history is that men don’t learn from history.

Scroll down for more truly intelligent Murphyisms.

_____________________________________________________

]]>
http://pithycomment.com/2012/04/03/murphys-laws-part-5-hes-alive-and-well-obscure-comments-made-by-and-to-the-master/feed/ 0
Murphy’s Laws — (Part 4) — He’s Alive and Well. Obscure Comments Made by and to The Master http://pithycomment.com/2012/03/12/murphys-laws-part-4-hes-alive-and-well-obscure-comments-made-by-and-to-the-master/ http://pithycomment.com/2012/03/12/murphys-laws-part-4-hes-alive-and-well-obscure-comments-made-by-and-to-the-master/#comments Tue, 13 Mar 2012 03:21:29 +0000 admin http://pithycomment.com/?p=1641 Murphy lives! Trust me on this. Read on.

1. A proliferation of new laws creates a proliferation of new loopholes.

2. History repeats itself, that is one of the things wrong with history.

3. The sumptuousness of a company’s annual report is in inverse proportion to its profitability.

4.(eGrumps addition) The number of footnotes in a financial statement is in inverse proportion to its profitability.

5. (More of the same thought) – The opulence of the front office decor varies inversely with the fundamental solvency of the firm.

(Are the business schools trying to tell us something here?)

6. If there is a wrong thing to say, one will say it.

7. When your opponent is down, kick him.

8. Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.

(Scroll down to waste more time)

___________________________________________________

]]>
http://pithycomment.com/2012/03/12/murphys-laws-part-4-hes-alive-and-well-obscure-comments-made-by-and-to-the-master/feed/ 0
Murphy (Part 3) Alive and Well — Obscure Comments Made by and to The Master http://pithycomment.com/2012/03/09/murphy-part-3-alive-and-well-obscure-comments-made-by-and-to-the-master/ http://pithycomment.com/2012/03/09/murphy-part-3-alive-and-well-obscure-comments-made-by-and-to-the-master/#comments Sat, 10 Mar 2012 00:12:02 +0000 admin http://pithycomment.com/?p=1630 Saved from obscurity by the writer (or compiler) or better yet (the thief who stole these comments) in homage to the great one – Murphy.  eGrumps, the thief, sits in abject humility as the feet of the memory of Murphy – one man who changed the world. Can one sit at the feet of a memory? Why not? It’s the least I can do in order to pay homage.  Rest well, Murph old buddy.

1. After an access cover has been secured by 16 hold-down screws, it will be discovered that the gasket is missing.

2. Speak softly and own a big, mean doberman!

3. Food that tastes the best has the highest number of calories.

4. Of two possible outcomes, only the least desireable will be discovered first.

5. Anything worth doing is worth doing for the money.

6. It is morally wrong to allow suckers to keep their money.

7. When things are going well. something will go wrong.

_____________________________________________________________

]]>
http://pithycomment.com/2012/03/09/murphy-part-3-alive-and-well-obscure-comments-made-by-and-to-the-master/feed/ 0
Murphy (Part 2) — Alive and Well — Obscure Comments Made By and To The Master http://pithycomment.com/2012/03/06/murphy-part-2-alive-and-well-obscure-comments-made-by-and-to-the-master/ http://pithycomment.com/2012/03/06/murphy-part-2-alive-and-well-obscure-comments-made-by-and-to-the-master/#comments Wed, 07 Mar 2012 05:06:50 +0000 admin http://pithycomment.com/?p=1628 I don’t know if Murphy is alive and well, but his comments are. They live on – like Peanuts, or someone, to forever entertain us and pay humble homage (terrific expression – humble homage – even though we are not humble, by any means) to his legacy. Indeed, we honor him by this website. (Written by eGrumps, a not so modest fellow)

Favorite of the day: — To err is human, but to really screw things up, requires a computer.

1. Anything worth doing is worth doing for money. (So why is this website free to all. I tried to get a sponsor and he wanted me to pay him – bummer)

2. The tire is only flat on the bottom.

3. Do not believe in miracles, rely on them.

4.  A Smith and Wesson beats four aces.

5. When all else fails, read the instructions.

6. When things are going well, something will go wrong.

Laws of purchasing computers:

If it crashes, it will, but only after the warranty expires.

A necessary computer goes on sale only after you have bought it at the regular price.

_________________________________________________________

]]>
http://pithycomment.com/2012/03/06/murphy-part-2-alive-and-well-obscure-comments-made-by-and-to-the-master/feed/ 0
Murphy – Alive and Well – Obscure Comments Made By and To The Master http://pithycomment.com/2012/03/04/murphy-alive-and-well-obscure-comments-made-by-and-to-the-master/ http://pithycomment.com/2012/03/04/murphy-alive-and-well-obscure-comments-made-by-and-to-the-master/#comments Mon, 05 Mar 2012 01:55:27 +0000 admin http://pithycomment.com/?p=1623 Once can never have too many Pithy Comments relating to our hero – Murphy.
The principal comment, which has lasted through eternity – so far:   “Murphy was an Optimist.”
The following are worth remembering, especially No. 8.

1. You can never run out of things that can go wrong.

2. Love your neighbor, but don’t get caught.

3. Love is the delusion that one woman difers from another.

4. A TRUE CLASSIC: “Some of it plus the rest of it is all of it.”

5. When you are up to your nose, keep your mouth shut.

6. Food that tastes the best has the highest number of calories.

7. First Law of Expert Advice: Don’t ask the barber if you need a haircut.

8. The Nonreciprocal law of expectations:
Negative expectations yield negative results.
Positive expectations yield negative results.

Scroll down if you have nothing better to do, and it is
hard to believe that you have anything better to do.

_______________________________________________________


]]>
http://pithycomment.com/2012/03/04/murphy-alive-and-well-obscure-comments-made-by-and-to-the-master/feed/ 0
Pithy Comments – One Line Jokes for Everyone That Have Lasted and Lasted and Lasted. http://pithycomment.com/2012/03/01/pithy-comments-one-line-jokes-for-everyone-that-have-lasted-and-lasted-and-lasted/ http://pithycomment.com/2012/03/01/pithy-comments-one-line-jokes-for-everyone-that-have-lasted-and-lasted-and-lasted/#comments Fri, 02 Mar 2012 04:59:25 +0000 admin http://pithycomment.com/?p=1621 These Pithy Comments have stood the results of  time, Time Magazine, and the New York Times – that’s how bad they are. I tried Newsweek but they deleted my eMail – they were smarter than I thought, which doesn’t mean much in the way of measurements.

Today is tomorrow’s yesterday. So if you are longing for the good old days, you are there.

1. Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere.

2. It may be that your sole purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others.

3. Anything worth fighting for is worth fighting dirty for.

4. Suicide is the most severe form of self-criticism.

5. Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is the best defense.

6. Rehab is for quitters.

7. There comes a time in every man’s life when he must stand up and tell his mother, he’s an adult.
This usually happens at about age 45.

______________________________________________________

]]>
http://pithycomment.com/2012/03/01/pithy-comments-one-line-jokes-for-everyone-that-have-lasted-and-lasted-and-lasted/feed/ 0