On March 18, 2010 (If you have lost my earlier letter, please scroll down) I posted about a problem with your letter (of March 2010) demanding that I sign and send in my census form immediately, despite the fact the form relates to events occurring on April 1, 2010. I expected some clarification, but alas, you have not had the common courtesy to respond.

My comment about you being qualified as Director of Obamacare seems to have been quite accurate.

Now, however, the problem has been compounded. The Dept. of Census has put out TV commercials (not too entertaining, I must say) telling me to send in my census form right away. Same problem – it was March 21 that the commercials appeared, and the info requested is for April 1. I am still not able to predict the future with any degree of accuracy. I could guess, but that would probably be illegal, and I am too old to go to jail.

Please – IMMEDIATELY tell me what to do. This situation is quite stressful, as you can imagine. You could be liable under tort law for the deliberate infliction of mental suffering. I may sue.

eGrumps

P.S. I suggest you not pay for the commercials, or if you have paid, get your money back – with interest. As a taxpayer, your conduct really tees me off .

P.P.S. Is there no end to your incompetence? One would think you work for the government. Oops – you do work for the government. Maybe that explains it, but certainly doesn’t excuse your conduct in this matter. It is very serious to advise fellow American citizens (and aliens as well) to break the law. Actually, if aliens break the law, perhaps you can immediately deport them. Ask A. G. Holder – he’d probably agree unless they are working for ACORN in voter registration drives, in which case A. G. Holder might leave them here until after the 2010 elections.

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March 18, 2010:

Dear Census Director:

I trust this comment will find you in good health – both good physical health and mental health.  Frankly, you have created quite a problem for me, and many others, and I don’t how how to handle it without being in violation of your instructions concerning the 2010 Census.  I trust my inquiry will not interfere with your mental health, but I feel compelled to ask a question.  It is based upon the following:

On March 16th I received a letter from you stating, in part (in bold type yet)  “Please complete and mail back the enclosed census form today. ” Clear enough, I opened the census form, and what do I find – Question 1: “How many additional people were living or staying in this house, apartment, or mobile home on April 1, 2010.” This is creating quite a problem for me – How can I mail back the form on March 20th (as you have instructed) which says how many people are living in my house on April 1.?

I am sure there are others with similar problems, so what do I do?

Please advise.

Thank you, in advance, for your courtesy.

eGrumps

P.S. – Is it true that you are being considered for the chief operating officer for Obamacare? You seem to be well-qualified.

P.P.S. – I am concerned that all the census data will be invalid and that you will have to retake the census, or else it will be illegal. Since, as you have accurately pointed out, this is a serious document and many consequences will follow, i.e. number of congressional seats, and your figures will be based on obviously false data.  What do your legal advisors say?

Second Rule of Politics: Always start at the desired conclusion, and work backwards to make the evidence fit the conclusion, regardless as to whether the “evidence” is true or not.

Third Rule of Politics: Always dodge the issues in a straightforward way.

Fourth Rule of Politics: Always keep the promises you made during the campaign — on 3 X 5 cards locked in a cabinet.

Fifth Rule of Politics: Always remember there are two sides to every question, and a good politician takes both.

eGrumps comment; “When I was a kid, fairy tales used to begin “Once upon a time……” Now they begin “If I’m elected…..”

In crime they say:  “Take the money and run.” In politics they say: “Run and take the money.”

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eGrumps: About 50% of the Senate and House are lawyers.

Pithy Comment Patronizing Award of the Year (so far): To Representative Conyers for saying, in effect, “Trust us on this. You don’t have time to read and understand the law anyhow.” In another context, ex-Pres. Clinton “Don’t ask, don’t tell.” Rep. Conyers “Don’t read, don’t tell – you will not understand it anyhow.”  Sort of patronizing, isn’t it? Will anyone be able to top this and receive a coveted eGrumps award?

eGrumps: Certainly doesn’t give me a lot of confidence that Congress knows what it is doing.

Hypochondria is the only disease I haven’t got.

“I don’t blame hospitals for trying to keep their costs
down. But I really think a coin-operated
bedpan is going a little too far.” (Joey Adams)

“Someone once remarked that in adolescence
pornography is a substitute for sex,
whereas in adulthood, sex is a substitute for pornography.”
(Edmund White)

Some man hit my fender
and I told him
“Be fruitful and multiply”
but not in those words.

Dearie, if sex were fast food
there’d be an arch over your bed!