Archive for the ‘Pithy’ Category

Jokes, Humor & Pithy Comments (from eGrumps) — October 22, 2009

Wednesday, October 21st, 2009

eGrumps’ Mother speaking to him when he was a mere child: “Every family tree always produces nuts.” (“Boy, was she right!” Mrs. eGrumps)(“Did I ask you?” eGrumps)

Nowadays a miser is one who lives within his income.

The dull thing about taking the straight and narrow path is you never run into any of your friends.

He has the awful flower disease….he’s a blooming idiot.

No matter how busy people are, they always have time to stop and tell you how busy they are.

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Sunday, May 3rd, 2009

Pithy Comment of the Year (so far):

The most useless computer tasks are the most fun to do.

Thursday, April 30th, 2009

If you cheat on your diet – you gain in the end.

My kid brother was sent from heaven. They must like it quiet up there.

The big advantage of being bald is that you can style your hair with a damp cloth.

Monday, April 27th, 2009

Politics is the art of looking for trouble
finding it, misdiagnosing it,
and the misapplying the wrong remedies

Some man hit my fender
and I told him
“Be fruitful and multiply”
but not in those words.

Dearie, if sex were fast food
there’d be an arch over your bed!

 

Saturday, April 25th, 2009

“It’s hard for me to get used to these changing times.
I can remember when the air was clean
and sex was dirty.”  George Burns

“I can remember when the drug stores had the
cigarettes in plain view and the condoms behind the counter.”
Concerned Parent

“I can’t remember anything.”
eGrumps

 

Thursday, April 23rd, 2009

It’s not the voting that is democracy, it’s the counting.

Wednesday, April 22nd, 2009

He couldn’t even tell the truth in his diary.

Tuesday, April 21st, 2009

Her Motto:  Think, Mink

Monday, April 20th, 2009

Birds of a feather flock together
and then poop on your car.

Monday, April 20th, 2009

If you rear-end a car on the freeway,
your first move should be to hang up the phone.

Saturday, April 18th, 2009

No matter what you search for,
one porn site will match your criteria.

Friday, April 17th, 2009

The only difference between a rut
and a grave is the depth

Friday, April 17th, 2009

Candy is dandy
But sex doesn’t rot the teeth.

Thursday, April 16th, 2009

Wellington’s Law of Command

“The cream rises to the top.
So does the scum.”

Thursday, April 16th, 2009

Anything adjustable will eventually need adjustment.

Wednesday, April 15th, 2009

Truth varies.

Wednesday, April 15th, 2009

“Laughter is the medicine of life.” (Anon.)
Actually, laughter may be the best medicine,
but you’ll die anyhow.
Conclusion: Laughter as a medicine
doesn’t work too well, actually, it doesn’t work
at all. Maybe you should try something different. (eGrumps)

Tuesday, April 14th, 2009

“I consider myself a success because I always wanted
to be the biggest failure in the world.”
eGrumps (
www.egrumps.com)

Tuesday, April 14th, 2009

“A Toast: May the bride and groom have as much happiness as
I’ve had on several occasions.”

Monday, April 13th, 2009

Love much, laugh often, live well.

(Comment from eGrumps, moderator – bah, humbug)