Pithy Comments

The following One-Line “jokes” have no historical significance whatsoever – YET!!!

As ourPresident might have said:

Bibi, old buddy – if  Israel will go back to its 1967 borders, America will give it, royalty-free, its plans for the fence separating the USA from Mexico.  The Director of Homeland Security has told me it has been very effective in keeping out the illegals, and I know she wouldn’t lie to me. If  it has worked for us, it will work for you in the same manner – it’s a win, win situation for Israel, the US and the Palestinians. Actually, it is a no lose proposition – for two out of three, and those are pretty good odds.

Bibi, I haven’t mentioned before, out alligator farms. We are breeding the biggest, meanest alligators ever seen, and they are all yours, free of charge. All you have to do is build a moat next to the foolproof fence (see above) and put the alligators in. My Secretary of Defense (and alligators are a defensive weapons system) has assured me they are cost effective, especially since they  have a tendency to breed rather rapidly. I know he wouldn’t lie to me. We are trying to solve the problem of determining the females and the males, but once that has been mastered, it’s all to your benefit. Unfortunately we lost three alligator sex determiners last week, and recruits are now not volunteering the way they did in the past, but that can be solved. We’re working on a solution. One of my aides suggested that would be a relatively easy way to reduce the number of Republican candidates who want to run against me, but there are some problems with that approach. Trust me – we’ll solve it.

Bibi, I can’t think of a better way to solve the “right of return” problem than by having them cross the moat, climb the fence, cut through the barbed wire, and cross the mine field before they qualify as lawful immigrants to Israel. You can even copy our amnesty program, as soon as we work out a solution, which we anticipate should be around 2024.
Bibi, our countries must cooperate in this endeavor, and we have taken a first step by showing you the way to lead the Iraelis out of bondage. If Moses could do it, so can you. Trust us.

Finally, Bibi, old friend, America is willing to give you the services of a prominent member of our Jewish community to help you. I know Lady GaGa would not refuse. Please give her a call. Put the charge on the White House telephone bill.   – we get a discounted rate.

(It is very hard to make fun of this very serious situation, but I’d rather take this approach, then to even suggest that the Israelis go back to the 1967 border – That’s about as unfunny as it can get. As your countrymen,, Mr. Prime Minister, have said “Never Again,” and I’m with you, sarcasm or not)