For Information on the 2010 (so far) Award: I’ve Got a Bridge I Want to Sell You – go to www.grumps.com.
Hot damn – It’s June 1 already. I guess I can forget about my New Year’s Eve resolutions – actually, I don’t remember my New Year’s Eve resolutions. Philosophical question – can you intentionally break a new Year’s Eve Resolution, if you don’t remember it? Probably not – you can’t intentionally break it if you don’t know what it was. Ergo – if someone accuses you of intentionally breaking your New Year’s Eve Resolutions – say you forgot them – and to bug off.
The object is to die young, as late as possible.
When in doubt, predict the present trend will continue.
There are only two problems with people. One is that they don’t think. The other is that they do.
Love is a matter of chemistry. Sex is a matter of physics.
You are not drunk if you can lie an the floor without holding on.
Logic is a systematic way of arriving at the wrong conclusion with confidence.
If it jams force it. If it breaks, it needed replacement anyway.
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Tags: Funny Quotations, Humor, Jokes, Jokes One Line, One Line Jokes, Pithy Comment, Wit
This entry was posted
on Tuesday, June 1st, 2010 at 7:44 pm and is filed under Humor, Pithy Comments, Wit.
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Responses are currently closed, but you can trackback from your own site.
True Maxims of Life – One Liners — Jokes, Humor & Pithy Comments — (from eGrumps) — June 1, 2010
For Information on the 2010 (so far) Award: I’ve Got a Bridge I Want to Sell You – go to www.grumps.com.
Hot damn – It’s June 1 already. I guess I can forget about my New Year’s Eve resolutions – actually, I don’t remember my New Year’s Eve resolutions. Philosophical question – can you intentionally break a new Year’s Eve Resolution, if you don’t remember it? Probably not – you can’t intentionally break it if you don’t know what it was. Ergo – if someone accuses you of intentionally breaking your New Year’s Eve Resolutions – say you forgot them – and to bug off.
The object is to die young, as late as possible.
When in doubt, predict the present trend will continue.
There are only two problems with people. One is that they don’t think. The other is that they do.
Love is a matter of chemistry. Sex is a matter of physics.
You are not drunk if you can lie an the floor without holding on.
Logic is a systematic way of arriving at the wrong conclusion with confidence.
If it jams force it. If it breaks, it needed replacement anyway.
________________________________________________________
________________________________________________
Tags: Funny Quotations, Humor, Jokes, Jokes One Line, One Line Jokes, Pithy Comment, Wit
This entry was posted on Tuesday, June 1st, 2010 at 7:44 pm and is filed under Humor, Pithy Comments, Wit. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Responses are currently closed, but you can trackback from your own site.