Stress, Opinions and Other Memorable One-Line Jokes (from eGrumps, modest purveyor of one-line jokes) — May 26, 2010

“Sex is a killer.” Want to die happy?

Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven’t fallen asleep yet.

Never confuse having a career with having a life. (“eGrumps, you have neither.” Mrs. eGrumps)

Teenager with nose rings, baggy pants and spike hair to a friend. “I don’t really like dressing this way, but it keeps my parents from dragging me everywhere they go.”

You have a right to your opinions. I just don’t want to hear them.

Beware of programmers who carry screwdrivers.

Never say “OOPS.” Always say “Ah, interesting.”

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Check out http://egrumps.com for latest on Pres. Obama, the oil spill, and playing golf.

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