Answering Machines – One Line Comments — Jokes, Humor & Pithy Comments — (from eGrumps) — May 16, 2010

People are living longer these days. When the Angel of Death calls, he gets an answering machine.

I just bought an answering machine. It’s not working too well. Maybe the fact that I don’t have a telephone has something to do with it.

Why is it that whenever you return a call left on your answering machine, you get the other person’s answering machine?

I’ve solved the problem of getting messages on my answering machine. It says, “Please leave a message after the beep.” And there is no beep. Saves me having to return a lot of calls.

My kids moved away from home. We haven’t talked in two years. We just leave messages on each others answering machines.

Another method to reduce the number of  messages left on your answering machine – Put the message “We’re not home right now, we”ll return the call when we get back – in about three years.”

I proposed to my girlfriend by leaving a message on her answering machine. How was I to know she had a husband?

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