August 14, 2009

You know there’s a reason eGrumps has that stupid grin on his face. He is stupid.

A minor operation is one performed on someone else.

“There is so much nudity in film this year, that this year’s Oscar for clothing design will probably go to a dermatologist.” (Phyllis Diller)

Last night I dreamed that I ate a five pound marshmellow. When I woke up, my pillow was gone.

In my marriage my wife and I agreed never to go to bed mad. We haven’t slept in three weeks.

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