eGrumps brain is like a vacuum cleaner. It sucks whenever he has to use it.
You can marry more money in ten minutes than you can earn in a lifetime.
The problem with pessimists is that they are right too much.
Lord give me patience – and I mean right now!
My wife told me I should be more affectionate, so I got two girlfriends.
Anything worth fighting for is worth fighting dirty for.
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Jokes, Humor & Pithy Comments (from eGrumps) — February 9, 2009
February 8th, 2010“You appeal to a small, select group of confused people.” (Mrs. eGrumps talking about me) “What does she know?” (eGrumps) “eGrumps. you’re still an idiot.” (Mrs. eGrumps) ”Right, I married you, didn’t I?” (eGrumps)
Running is an unnatural act, except from enemies and to the bathroom.
Show me a good loser, and I’ll show you a loser.
A stitch in time would have confused Einstein.
“In America, anyone can become President. That’s the risk you take.” (Adlai Stevenson)
Originality is the art of concealing your sources.
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Tags: Funny Quotations, Humor, Jokes, Jokes One Line, One Line Jokes, Pithy Comment, Wit
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